I Wish This Guy Was My Teacher

By Rob · Feb 4, 2010 · link

I went to first school in a small village and in the time I was there the number of pupils was never more than 60. If it snowed or a family moved away or went on holiday, the numbers could plummet to below 10. I mention these numbers because there were never less than 4 teachers which meant a very good teacher/pupil ratio. You would think this would allow the teachers to go into more detail on subjects and generally teach us more but in reality it just meant there was more time to fill and it turned out they often filled the extra time by just making stuff up. For example;

On his first day of middle school a friend of mine was in a Science class when the teacher asked someone to explain colour. My friend excitedly raised his hand and started making uhhh, uhhhhh noises, straining to raise his hand higher than anyone else, the way you did in school when you knew the answer. The teacher nodded at him and he proudly began to explain colour to the rest of the class, as it had been explained to him in first school. He confidently stated that the sky is filled with invisible buckets full of different coloured paint and as the earth spins round and round, the paint buckets tip over and all the paint mixes together to make colours which then land on everything in the world and that is what colour is.

The teacher gawped at him like he was a retarded mule, half the class laughed uncontrollably whilst the rest just looked on disdainfully, their tiny little faces filled to the brim with pity. From that point on he thought twice about answering questions in class, worried to explain that lemonade came from bee tears just in case it was just something Mrs. Green had made up to fill time.

N.B. My time at first school was utterly amazing and despite being presented with the odd bullshit I loved it more than anything.

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